I am sorry, but someone has to say it, stop simping for the British Royal Family. Now I’m not saying abolish them or anything. They seem cool, I mean the queen of England has an open bar for her servants. But please stop making your Instagram stories pictures of Prince George. He’s seven, is in no means related to you, and it’s creepy. That is the level of fan boy/girl that I don’t understand. I don’t even think the British care that much for them. As weird as it sounds, I feel like it’s more of an American thing.
For real though god save the queen and all, but give the kid some privacy. People don’t even do that to the President’s kids. Only time you see pictures of the towering string bean known as Barron Trump is when he is walking out of a car with his parents. But seriously have you seen Barron he’s like 6’7 and is a toothpick. The kid will not stop growing.
Dictionary.com defines a simp as “… a slang insult for men seen as too attentive and submissive to women.” But that is too narrow of a description of the term simp. A simp can be anyone. Male, female, non-binary, hell even your dog. Yeah that’s right, I said it. Your dog is a simp. But it’s cool, he’s probably cute and a total bro. But at it’s heart it’s being too attentive and submissive. For instead the was a period of time where every time I would go to the grocery store, I would see a people magazine where the front page was royal family gossip or what Princess Kate was wearing. For a gossip Magazine it makes sense. They are celebrities it in their wheelhouse. But front page! Your simping if you think that is more important than Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston getting back together. The travesty! Also If you have to buy a dying medium to learn about Princess Kate’s Burberry scarf you’re a simp.
Now to my British friends or anyone part of the commonwealth, you get a pass. I mean she is your queen. A figure head, but a queen. To my American friends though, take a step back a re-evaluate. I’m not saying fuck the British. If I had to rank countries on levels of Bro, England would easily be in the top five. I went to part of middle school and high school there, I know first had how cool brit’s can be. Except for that one girl at the Weybridge train station who kept trying to get me to say lollipop. That shit was weird. It’s okay to buy into the fantasy of royalty and imagine yourself married to member of the royal family who has a terrible hairline, but there is a line that cannot be crossed. Collecting magazines, posting baby pictures, and having an empty can of Irn-Brw that you dug out of the Buckingham Palace trash is simping. Simping can be categorized as a form of stalking. Where you are so infatuated with a person that you forget normal social cues. Forgetting how to act around others creates deep issues in ones life. So it is here that I say stop the simping. Nobody likes a simp.
Hammared 