Matthew Hammarstrom Comedy, fashion, Humor

The Teddy Fresh 8 Panel Unstructured Hat is Definitely Not a Beanie

Now let me tell you right here this is a hat. That’s right you heard it from me, it is definitely a hat and totally not a beanie. I know a lot of people when they buy a hat online wonder how it will fit their head. Will it sit snuggly at the top of the cranium? Or will it envelope me like a warm beanie? It’s a tough place to be in when ordering a hat. It really is. Luckily for me this hat fits snuggly like a hat should. And boy was I relieved.

There’s multiple colorways you can get for the Teddy Fresh 8 Panel Unstructured Hat and I painstakingly decided to go with the natural colorway. If there is one thing to take away from this hat review, is boy does it make me look hot. If this was Dungeons and Dragons, it would give me +10 to my hotness. I don’t even play DnD and I know that it’s an item I’d want my desert dwarf named Granelli to wear.

I felt the hat when it first arrived and based on 100% Melton wool construction, damn is it a soft hat. Prior to getting the hat, I didn’t know what Melton wool was! I was scared that it would be rugged and tough. While I could wear that in a construction site or a landfill and look fashionable, I wanted to something soft and subtle for my weak scalp. Look, as a reviewer it my duty to be 100% percent honest. This hat is very breathable. So much so that my chronic dandruff disappeared. I could now wear a black shirt without the fear of looking like snow globe.

The design of the hat is quite simple. Yet it is that simplicity is where its elegance thrives. The “TF” emblazoned on the front is the same natural shade as the rest of the hat. Giving it a soft aesthetic. That coupled with the very flexible brim screams, “hey I am a go with the flow bro”. Not much better than a hat that helps ease first impressions. Who doesn’t like bros who go with flow? Adaptability. Its important in many facets of life. Dating, job interviews, and cage fighting are all great examples of where adaptability thrives. This hat is the opposite of a vibe vampire because is screams the vibe of adaptability and comfort.

To round off my review the hat is a top ten hat. What comes before it and after it are up for debate, except a cowboy hat, because that thing is dope. But I digress. The hat is dope and recommend for people who want a +10 to their hotness.

Matthew Hammarstrom Comedy, Humor, politics

Stop Simping for the Royal Family

I am sorry, but someone has to say it, stop simping for the British Royal Family. Now I’m not saying abolish them or anything. They seem cool, I mean the queen of England has an open bar for her servants. But please stop making your Instagram stories pictures of Prince George. He’s seven, is in no means related to you, and it’s creepy. That is the level of fan boy/girl that I don’t understand. I don’t even think the British care that much for them. As weird as it sounds, I feel like it’s more of an American thing.

For real though god save the queen and all, but give the kid some privacy. People don’t even do that to the President’s kids. Only time you see pictures of the towering string bean known as Barron Trump is when he is walking out of a car with his parents. But seriously have you seen Barron he’s like 6’7 and is a toothpick. The kid will not stop growing.

Dictionary.com defines a simp as “… a slang insult for men seen as too attentive and submissive to women.” But that is too narrow of a description of the term simp. A simp can be anyone. Male, female, non-binary, hell even your dog. Yeah that’s right, I said it. Your dog is a simp. But it’s cool, he’s probably cute and a total bro. But at it’s heart it’s being too attentive and submissive. For instead the was a period of time where every time I would go to the grocery store, I would see a people magazine where the front page was royal family gossip or what Princess Kate was wearing. For a gossip Magazine it makes sense. They are celebrities it in their wheelhouse. But front page! Your simping if you think that is more important than Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston getting back together. The travesty! Also If you have to buy a dying medium to learn about Princess Kate’s Burberry scarf you’re a simp.

Now to my British friends or anyone part of the commonwealth, you get a pass. I mean she is your queen. A figure head, but a queen. To my American friends though, take a step back a re-evaluate. I’m not saying fuck the British. If I had to rank countries on levels of Bro, England would easily be in the top five. I went to part of middle school and high school there, I know first had how cool brit’s can be. Except for that one girl at the Weybridge train station who kept trying to get me to say lollipop. That shit was weird. It’s okay to buy into the fantasy of royalty and imagine yourself married to member of the royal family who has a terrible hairline, but there is a line that cannot be crossed. Collecting magazines, posting baby pictures, and having an empty can of Irn-Brw that you dug out of the Buckingham Palace trash is simping. Simping can be categorized as a form of stalking. Where you are so infatuated with a person that you forget normal social cues. Forgetting how to act around others creates deep issues in ones life. So it is here that I say stop the simping. Nobody likes a simp.

Matthew Hammarstrom Coffee, Comedy, Humor

Believe It or Not, City of Saints Coffee Roasters’ the Woodsman Tastes like Coffee!

So, I can say without a matter of doubt in my mind that City of Saints Coffee Roasters’ The Woodsman is definitely a coffee. Now I know some of you were wondering “Hey it says coffee, but what if they are trying to pull a goof and a gaff and its really tea?” Well bud I got your back. This bean juice right here is 100% coffee. It’s quite good too. Good flavor and great aroma, it really has it all. Now the flavor profile is a little hard to describe, but the best way to put for my other coffee connoisseurs out there is that it tastes like coffee. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I got my bag in the mail from Trade Coffee Co. What if it tastes like kombucha? Kombucha is popular these days, so what if City of Saints Coffee Roaster’s tried to capture its essence? Now this is going to be tough for my SCOBY loving friends, but it doesn’t. Instead this bean juice has the flavor of another bean, Cocoa Nibs. I didn’t even know what a nib was before I wrote this. I had to google search it. Its basically the cocoa bean. So, this coffee’s beans borrows flavors from another bean. Beanception. It really adds to its overall flavor of tasting like coffee.

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The Smell

The Aroma of the coffee in particular is quite remarkable. At first it was too bitter, but then I realized that I had put an extra scoop of coffee beans in my grinder, not my usual four scoops. So, the next day I did my usual four and examined the aroma. On the coffee bag it says that the coffee has hints of tobacco. This threw me off. Because quite frankly the closest I’ve come to tasting and smelling tobacco is a cigarette. So, does that mean this will taste and smell like a cigarette? I was really hoping it wouldn’t smell like a cigarette because I don’t like the smell of cigarettes. They smell icky. I remembered the wafting method I learned in high school chemistry of putting your nose close to a chemical and essentially pushing the air around it towards your nose. You don’t want to put your nose on top of the beaker, because some chemicals if smelt directly can have dire consequences. It happens with hydrochloric acid all the time. In short, I didn’t want cancer. So, in the off case that this did smell like cigarettes I got a safe distance from the coffee and began to waft. Well I would like to commend City of Saints Coffee Roasters because it smelled like coffee.

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The Taste

Now let’s address the most important part of a cup of joe. The taste. Was it going to taste like a cigarette? Was it going to have flavors of another bean? Or does it taste like the advertised burnt sugar? To my surprise it tasted like coffee. That’s right coffee. It had me scared for a minute, because I don’t think I could drink something that tasted like a cigarette. Another bean I could do. But only cocoa nibs. I don’t think I could handle vanilla bean flavored coffee. That is where I draw the line. And in regard to burnt sugar, I’d be cool with that too, since that is simply caramelized sugar. The coffee flavor of the coffee was strong, but not overwhelming in a sense that it was bitter. More in a sense of it definitely being coffee. I do have to say I nailed the water to coffee grounds ration. I don’t use a scale to get the ratio to an exact ounce. I use four scoops of a coffee scooper and use basically all of the water in my Hario goose neck kettle. Then I let brewing process take place in my Chemex. It led to a strong-tasting coffee with subtle hints of coffee to round it off.

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Post Brew Thoughts

This is a strong contender for one of the best cups of coffee I have had. It really made me feel like I was in my apartment drinking coffee. Which is nice, because I like my apartment. From top to bottom this was an enjoyable brew. The flavor didn’t overpower my palette and I could still taste my breakfast. The coffee bag itself is resealable so it’s very easy to store for future coffee brewing. Would I recommend it to my friends? Yes definitely. But not if they are looking for a coffee that tastes like cigarettes, because this is definitely not that.